What I wasn't looking for all this time ...

I knew a better offer would pop up just when I was most indifferent to the first and couldn't care less about the likelihood of any other, however improbably better, knocking on my door (which is why I not-work from home, in case the unbelievably improbable doesn't fail to occur on my doorstep:"Be Prepared", build a bunker and stockpile, I say.) and in the box as cross-branded stamps on my emails' envelopes. And here it isn't! I can finally continue not to  Eliminate [My/] Your Debt and at last feel the benzodiazepine-analogue calm of Debt Relief ... hmm ... 15 minutes approval- well, never had that before to care to not envy it, and like I have the time! I'll be famous in that time, with loadsamoney and no debts, ha! Joke's on you Over 29000 Australians ... suckers.

[Later that Ad Break ...]

The small print! Oh, Glorious avoidance of mere reduction of debts! Headline promises to Eliminate, small print sensibly-and incensingly- reads Reduce- it simply can't be both, ergo it's the first; am ever less enthused by debt consolidation & time-share/waste opportunity but exotic-tea-flavoured-shock steeply rising at cognizance of inversely correlated increase in ire and, naturally, debt ... 

Credit crunch time ...

Decisions, crippling, motor-impairing decisions ...

Will I, and it popped up first, Reduce [my] Debt In Five Minutes? Or show prudent obeisance to Madam Whitey and opt instead for the apropos and appealing Catnip T-Shirt ("If You Don't Talk To Them About Catnip, Who Will?"-who indeed?) ... the first isn't absolute or 'debt forgiveness', and the second might seem a desperate affectation or go horribly wrong and be rubbing her face in it, she entirely choiceless, as she is with her own narcotic-visage-shrub-rub habit. She already knows that I know already. It's quotidian and if not an emotional barb then at least (and still) as unfunny and heart-cooling and a reason to avoid eye contact as an X-mas-coloured  [instant] coffee mug emblazoned with "You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Work Here" on its side and "BUT IT HELPS!" in comic sans on its base used- and territorially guarded- by Hamish at the lead smelter central office never even close to far enough away ...

The photo-verified Six Pack Abs in a click, however, isn't crowded by better ads, or ones identical but for statistically insignificant discrepancies in price/cost or qty. of clicks to the prize ...  

Six Pack it is, and a click for 'More Ads' ... I can't be the only one to actually search google just for viral-advertising, there will be other survivors with immunity afterwards, with cats.

Paralysing Choices ...

What not to buy today when unmoved by indecision?  Shocking Weight Loss Tea newly arrived in Oz from China? Or a 4kg job lot of "Venom Protein" diet supplement [32gms of protein per serve, but what of the venom's bioavailability? Huh?!] ... Reassuringly the purveyor of the latter doesn't mince words- doesn't even NEED mince, with all his venom powder, I imagine-in the ozauction imageless ad, stating simply "This stuff really works". Not even an exclamation mark, spot-free hyperbole. The tea, however, I find non-shocking, and thus feel reassurance unnecessary.